Tuesday 18th August

“The Edinburgh Festival is an unyielding, hostile terrain, with thousands of shows on offer – some good, some ok and some bloody awful. If you don`t know what’s going on, you could end up locked in a basement on the Royal Mile watching Polish midgets juggle dildos. The Royal Mile is dangerous, it`s filled with gypsies, tramps and thieves. Beware.“ Fix Magazine

Today was the day to whip up my courage, with a little encouragement from Jo Bruno, a gutsy woman from NY, (with huge round black rimmed glasses) and Lynn Ruth Miller, (who reminds me of a cross between George Burns and Gypsy Rosalie’s grandmother). Lynn started stripping at 71 and is now 76 and in the fringe for the 5th year in a row, performing in three shows, I don`t think she really strips, but in the show I saw, she lifted her skirt to display a full bottom of pink tail feathers, worn on knickers over top of purple and black Stripped tights! She’s won awards for her stand up act, says of her humor, “she’s dirty“. Not in the show I saw about an organizer for a seniors residence, she sang and danced and flirted with the audience, we played scrabble and ate fruit and carrots.

Lynn Ruth thinks I am a stripper, when I introduced my self after the “How To Fringe” lecture, I gave her my business card, Stripes: The Mystery Circus, she thought it said STRIPS and so she invited me to be the opening act of her Cabaret Gone Wild night tonight in the 9:10 pm time slot. This was my one chance to perform here.

One of my goals here, other than finding out “How the Edinburgh Fringe Works” and seeing shows was to get on stage to do at least a portion of my show, somehow, and I did, a 10 minute version, opening for an 11 piece Rock Band with from the South of England who’s members ranged from 15- 20 years old. When I finished my numbers, Lynn Ruth, said to the audience “she`ll be back to do her show next year, maybe she`ll take off more of her clothes then,“ much to the horror of the 19 year old boys in the front row.

Earlier in the day I was kicked off the Royal Mile. Or rather told I must “stop performing“. It turns out that everyone who performs there, needs to pay the Fringe office 50 pounds to perform on the Royal Mile. I nearly got through my 8 minute “Nun – Two Headed Lady song” before I was stopped by official Fringe patrol, but not before I’d played to a crowd and had a big Scotsman in full kilted regalia come up and give me a pound and kiss me on the cheek when I was dressed as the Nun, all the while I was scolding him, for wearing stripes on his kilt. I felt greatly relived that I had screwed up the courage. It was too noisy to actually hear my music, (I really need an amplification system if I am planning to perform in a crowd, outdoors).

Spoke to an American actor who is paying $8,000 for his venue plus 40% of the box office to do his one man coming out story….and he may be lucky to get 10 people a night. Plus you pay the fringe society at least 300 pounds, to be in the official program, plus publicity…the costs to live here are high, expenses just go on, and on…aprox 2,000 to live cheaply for the month of performances. You need deep pockets or big sponsors to be part of this fringe…unless you do the free fringe, where you may not make much money but you don’t loose as much money as trying to book official venue! Plus you need a team of supporters to help with promotions and talking up the show.

Saw an excellent production at Traverse, this morning, “Little Gem”, monologues, three generations of the same family of Irish women…..fell in love with the characters, wept buckets. Fabulous script and gifted Irish actors.

The Tiger Lillies concert last night was fantastic! They send three kisses to Noam.

Check out time 10:30, then off to see some more Fringe shows before flying to London tonight, staying near Gatwick airport then to Prague tomorrow morning for 6 days.

Went to Fringe Central this morning for a lecture on “How To DO A FRINGE SHOW HERE.”
Found out there are 30,000 shows here this month! One of the people speaking is a 78 year
old woman Lynn Ruth Miller, who has three different shows in the Free Fringe this month.

Then witnessed a staged competition between Circus performers and Side-Show crazy sword
swallowing, nipple stapling guys, judged by Otto Rott, his sister and Amanda Palmer, singer from Dresdens.

Dressed up and strolled the Royal Mile as the Nun.
Gave out some flyers for “Everything Must Go”, the show I liked so much.

Spoke to a woman in line up for a show yesterday, she is from Milasya and has been
comming here every year to the Fringe for 10 years, she says “it’s like you catch a fever and have
to return year after year.”

Going to hear ” The Tiger Lilly’s ” in concert tonight.

Need more bandages.
Raining again today, Monday 17th.

Yesterday it stopped raining for awhile. Dressed up as Nun asked a passer by to take photo’s outside the Hub and Red Door Church, the wind really picks up the habit, I feel a bit like I’m sailing when I wear the big white hat.
4 more shows yesterday, went back to see Everything Must Go, wept buckets again…the most beautiful ending ever. I was given a free ticket by the Actress Kristin Fredrickson, who i met quite accidently on the street when her boyfriend handed me a flyer for the show and i said I’d seen it and loved it and was telling everyone I meet to go see this show.

Saw three very tallented young English actresses, from a company called “Inside Intelligence” with amazing patrons…. Dame Judi Dench, CH DBE FRSA (also Joanna Lumley, Sir Tom Stoppard, Julie Walters CBE …) They performed Sylvia Plath Play -“Three Women”…fine production, depressing of course, but very good.
Tried to go to the National Portrait Gallery of Scotland, but when I arrived outside the impressive gothic looking building I found that it`s closed, under renovatioin until 2011 just like the nearby pool!
Then tried to get into David Leddy`s White Tea, but it`s sold out, so I went to the acclaimed Event….`The man stood in the light and spoke to the people in the dark, who have agreed to be silent…blah bla and so it goes all self reflecting on theatre conventions…had a brilliant bit in the middle about how the world has changed to become more materialistic.

Saw official Edinburgh Festival Show “Optimism” last night….it evoked the opposite…nightmare of a show with good performances and a few good songs that don’t seem to have anything to do with anything.

Seeing stranger sights on the streets of Edinburgh than in the theatres….a man with thick dark hair growing out of his ears, thick like mustaches, like giant side burns inside his ears, he is dressed delicately in white linnen and speaks with a soft voice….I saw a man with no neck and a man with an elephant forhead all in folds above his eye…all within one block of the Assembly Theatre on George Street.

9:30 am Taxi to Traverse to wait in the cue for a standby ticket for hit show Midsummer: a play with music… waited till 11 but did not
not get in, stopped with the lady in front of me. Went to farmers market had a a Scotch Egg, a hard boild egg wrapped in saussage meat and covered in crumbs and fried! Saved it for supper.

I really don’t like crowds, but here i am around 2,000 people at every turn, breakfast buffet, line ups, restaurants, line ups for shows, it is a bit rattling internally. As much as I love the shows, the crowds are wearing.

Met my Scottish friend Jennifer 1pm for a one woman show: The Chronicles of Irania. A show about the plight of the women in Iran. Very passionate performance, good purpose but in need of editing and a good director. The show will stay with me for a long while. Dealt with acid in the face of women by husbands, who then need their husband permisson to receive medical attention! The Hanging of homosexuals, were just some of the images from this show…all wrapped up in Iranian Folk tales
Discovered the Forest Fringe, another whole Fringe that starts on the 17th and has free alternative performances all day. The woman form the British arts council said they are a really interesting group.
Rested for the rest of the day.

Rain, rain, rain…
Saw three shows.
John Hegley: The Adventures of Mr. Robinet, cleaver dead pan style, some songs, read from his poetry, it was as if he had planned the show the night before, he was so relaxed it was as if he didn’t really care about what he was doing.
Then Circa, another super popular cirque type show of ballancing and supremely fit performers, very impressive but not moving.
Third show Jeaneane Garofolo, American Actress and Stand Up Comedian. Funny, self depricating, taked about all the things a normal person would keep to themselves.